You need a caregiver wellness plan!

It’s almost the new year! And it's a great time to revisit your wellness strategies.

I want you to think about your coping tools. Like your closet, identify what works and what doesn’t. The purpose of these tools is to temporarily reduce symptoms of stress so you can:

• Identify what you need in the moment.

• Identify how you want to move forward.

• Decide how you want to thoughtfully respond.

If it achieves the intended purpose, great keep it! If it doesn’t, how can it be replaced with something that does?

It’s important to understand a few rules when examining your wellness plan and seeking to replace the things that no longer work for you.

Rule 1: You can’t take a coping tool away without replacing it with something just as effective. If you’ve smoked for the past 30 years to deal with stress, you can’t expect that you will just stop smoking without needing to engage in some other stress relieving activity. Nicotine withdrawal is hard. So yes, quit smoking if you feel like it does not help you to accomplish the goal (see above). But you need to replace it with something else. Maybe it's a short walk around the block, hard candy and grounding exercises, or deep breathing.

Rule 2: YOU and only YOU need to decide if your tools are effective. Yes, scrolling Instagram for hours on end may not be the best way to cope, but did it help keep your anxiety in check and occupied while you sat with your husband through dialysis treatments? It's understandable that it is not preferential, however it might serve the purpose you need it to, in this season of your life. And when you are ready, you can work on incorporating a better tool that is more aligned with your personal values.

Rule 3: How you cope today, may not be how you cope tomorrow.

The coping tools you use as a caregiver may be different when you are no longer caregiving. Your coping tools should evolve as you and your needs evolve. Think about it as a fluid process of exploration. As one coping tool comes into your toolbox, one may leave.

Just a word...

Sometimes different forms of coping take on the form of addictions. Addictions are physiological, mental and emotional in nature and often exacerbates stress. If you feel like your coping tool is actually an addiction, then I highly encourage you to seek professional help to help you identify other options.

Take a few moments and really think about how you cope with stress. Ask yourself if it works and if it doesn't, make a wellness plan to cope better.

Everyone wins, when you are at your best.