Stop searching for balance, seek alignment

Balance is evasive for most because its often not achievable. The idea that you can achieve this perfect pie of wellness, where everything and everyone in your life gets equal parts of you… has that ever been your experience?

If one thing demands less of your resources it is because something else is requiring more. If you decrease the amount of hours you work during the week it is most likely because something else requires that time. Ahem caregive much?

Life is constantly changing and in flux. As a caregiver you may have to drop everything to attend to a crisis that could last for minutes or hours or days. A normal day can turn into days spent at the side of a hospital bed.

So how can you achieve this perfect pie of wellness, when your life is constantly threatened with change?

Well, you can’t. But you can focus on spending the moments you do have in a way that is aligned with your values and priorities.

Decide what is important to you and attempt to align your time according to your hierarchy of importance. Oprah says, “I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time.”

So instead of balance meaning “equal,” balance can mean distributing your time/bandwidth/energy in a way that benefits you holistically. Caregivers realistically spend on average 25 hours a week on caregiving activities. And that’s on top of work and other family obligations. I encourage you to be honest about the time that you have and begin to explore how you can use every moment in a way that creates more wellness for you.

This may mean sacrifice, yes. This may mean asserting your boundaries in a way that is displeasing to others, true. But it can also mean less resentment, less frustration, and less displeasure with your life, right now.

I used to think that if I could just perfect my schedule, routine, and self-discipline I could be a working mother caregiver wife bestie business owner. This erroneous thought on my part resulted in burnout, intense therapy, and big decisions.

If you want to homeschool your kid, then you need to work less, which means that your standard of living may need to change. If you want to grow your business, then homeschooling is off the table, you work more, and find a way to care give less.

There is nothing wrong with imbalance, as long as you are living according to your values and priorities.

I encourage you to take a look at how you spend your time, and ask yourself

• Is this how I want to be spending my time?

• What would I prefer to be doing right now?

• What do I need more of, that I am not currently getting?