Recap: Family conflict and caregiving

Last week, our training focused on how to navigate family conflict. We normalized the fact that caregiving families often suffer from difficulties navigating arguments and disagreements. We validated that sometimes within caregiving relationships, there are old hurts, wounds, trauma, anger, guilt and resentments.

We also addressed the fact that over the course of time, the caregiving relationship evolves. Power dynamics shift, roles change, intimacy can either increase or decrease, and conflicting/confusing feelings emerge, which can all result in dysfunction.

Let me give you a powerful example.

My 35 year old self, feels "some type of way" about denying my 95 year old grandfather more gravy on his potatoes. My 95 year old grandfather feels "some type of way," about being denied more gravy, from someone 60 years younger and who he put through college. We both may have resentments about having to be put in this situation to begin with.

Some of the main takeaways from this training were to:

• Learn the skills necessary to have the difficult conversations with all family members involved.

• Don't keep secrets! If things are changing as a result of one family members increased needs, then everyone needs to be on the same page about what that will look like.

• Seek professional help like family, individual or group therapy. Therapy can help families learn new skills, provide a safe environment to explore confusing feelings, provide support, and provide an opportunity to reflect.

There may not be an overnight fix to family conflict. Relationships are complicated and change takes time. But it is important to the entire family unit, to create an environment that feels safe, accepting, and secure. And that happens when families are able to address the hard stuff head on and as a team.

Think about how you can increase teamwork. How does every person in the family unit feel supported? Is everyone getting their needs met?