Routines keep you thriving

We all hear about routine and structure and how it is beneficial, but do you know why? Furthermore, do you know how to implement it within your caregiving life?

Caregiver life can be unpredictable. Depending on the nature of your caregiving situation establishing a routine can feel like a useless task.

Let's be clear, your routine will not look like your non caregiving peers. Asking yourself to adhere to a routine not based in your reality, IS A USELESS TASK. Instead, identify a routine that works for you and the people you care for and stop comparing what you can do, to people who have no idea what your life is like.

Routines are helpful because:

1. Routines create a sense of security

A predictable routine allows you to ground yourself in the expectations of the day. Even if your day must change abruptly, engaging in some predictable pattern of behavior creates a sense of safety. Abrupt changes can result in increased anxiety and learning how to ground yourself back into your routine can decrease that anxiety.

A real-life example: Its dinner time and instead of serving dinner you are on your way to the hospital (it has happened several times). Instead of skipping dinner and not eating at all, I reach into my go bag and eat my bag snacks. It's not what I had intended, but my body is ready for dinner, so I ensure that I have food with me always. So instead of my body being anxious and starved and probably hangry. I can work on anxiety reduction. When I finally return home, I must shower, wash my face, and wrap my hair. Because my brain knows that these are my sleep triggers. I sleep instead of sitting awake with my anxious thoughts.

2. Routines can provide a sense of mastery

Routines also allow for you to feel more confident in a life that might feel chaotic. Again, caregiving can feel disorienting which might result in feeling as if you have no control or mastery of your life. Predictable routines allow you to develop a sense of confidence in your ability to navigate your life; routine can result in control.

3. Routines allow for the development and growth of healthy habits

We all know that you are more likely to neglect your basic care needs than your non-caregiving peer. Healthy habits outside of the context of routine can be very difficult to keep, especially during times of crises. Pairing your new healthy habit within an already structured routine encourages consistency.

In James Clear book Atomic Habits, he highlights focusing on building systems as opposed to goals. Your routine is that system. If you would like to exercise more, incorporating this new activity into an already chaotic system will likely result in not reaching your goal. Incorporating a new goal into a well functioning routine is more likely to result in consistency.

4. Routines encourage consistent expectations from yourself and others

Routines decrease confusion and power struggles. If you are caring for kids as well as an aging or disabled loved one, then routine establishes norms. You shouldn’t need to argue about expectations because routines reinforce them. For example, “when we come home from school you put your back pack away, you have a snack and you start on homework.” Routines also help kids develop a sense of confidence that they can take care of themselves as well, and that’s just great parenting.

Your routine won’t be adhered to perfectly everyday. You will need to make changes. It won’t look like your non caregiving Instagram peer who wakes up at 5am to “welcome the day.” Or it might. Routine encourages anxiety reduction, confidence, mastery and an opportunity to achieve goals. So figure out what can work for you.